I’m just a Jules in the world…

Sick!

January 21, 2008 · Leave a Comment

munkyI do NOT like being sick!!! grrr I want to tell the whole world to go to hell! Nothing is helping and there isn’t anything anyone can do… except give me some Nyquil, leave me alone, and let me sleep!

I have the love of my life to thank for this one. Although we both tried to keep our distance, she was coming and going… not in quarantine, as she should have been. So, she went about spreading her germies here and there. Now, *sigh* she’s in the US and I’m here… sick. UGH!

heartsJust want to say, thank you baby. Good thing I love you. Yes, I know this was not intentional. I just would have spent more time with you before you left, had I known I would be sick anyway. Now that’s love…

GET BACK HERE AND TAKE CARE OF ME, WOMAN!!! kthxbai…

Categories: Just Jules' Jabber
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sumbitch

January 21, 2008 · Leave a Comment

A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.  

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.  At the height of the party, the host said, ‘I have a 10 ft man-eating gator in my pool and I’ll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.’

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! He was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.  Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.  Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, ‘Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars,’ ‘No, that’s okay.  I don’t want it,’ said Leroy.

The rich man said, ‘Man , I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?’

‘No thanks, I don’t want it,’  answered Leroy.

The host said, ‘Come on, I insist on giving you something.  That was amazing.  How about a new Porsche, a Rolex, and some stock options?’ Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, ‘Well, Leroy, then what do you want?’

Leroy said, ‘I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!’
guns

Categories: Jokes & Funnies
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