Cartoon of the day

*click me*

Quote of the Century

The ‘Hero of Chappaquiddick’ speaks.Ted Kennedy on why he supports amnesty for those sneaking across the Rio Grande:

*click me*

The Secret

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath

The 80 year old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.

He asked, “Do you have any rye bread?”
She said, “Yes, there’s a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?”

He said, “I want 5 loaves.”
She said, “My goodness, 5 loaves…by the time you get to the 5th loaf, It will be hard!”

He replied, “I can’t believe it, everybody in the world knows about this shit but me.”

Internet Sucks!

I’m crabby. Consider this your warning!

My Internet connection is shit today! Oh yes, I remember now, I live on a tiny island… and it’s been raining. Yes, that’s it. Hit me in the head with a friggin’ coconut, although I would prefer you did it with a mango. Much softer.

I woke up at 3:30am to watch something. NO DICE! I worked on the connection, etc. for hours. What a waste! I would go back to sleep, but it’s already 10am and I hate losing my day. Although, with the rain, there will be no diving.

Now, I finally have everything going s.l.o.w.l.y and realize how long it takes for all of these blasted images to load. I’m sorry everyone. I’m going to go through and make everything a thumbnail. There won’t be the *click me* kind of outline, I hate that. But, you can bet that if it’s small, and not an emoticon, you can make it bigger…

Think I’m going to go sudoku and relax!

Miss Beatrice

 *Severe corny alert!!*

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

‘Miss Beatrice’, he said, ‘I wonder if you would tell me about this?’ pointing to the bowl.

‘Oh, yes,’ she replied, ‘Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven’t had a cold all winter.’