A subbie’s blackboard lessons…

by Blades baby gyrl (formerly, Torm’s tiara)
Copyright©1997

i will not carve the flogger handles

i will not spank others

i will not aim for Master’s head

i will not yell safeword in the grocery store

i will not sell the names on my newsgroup list to the National Enquirer

i will not read and giggle at Master’s logs from the Dom Forum

i will not yell fire everytime Master lights a candle

funny noises are not funny

i will not slap Master with my bra

punishment is not boring or pointless

i will not call Master, Dr. Death

i will not defame the Eugenspeil Society

i will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Master’s d/s party

i will not hide the newbies or send them snipe Dom hunting

i will not bring sheep to the subbie forum

a burp is not an appropriate response to Master

i will not eat all Master’s m & m’s while he is at work

i will not yell she’s tied up at the subbie forum

Master’s gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet

i will not call Master, spud head, butt head or any kind of head

Masters ARE perfect

mud is not an acceptable side dish for dinner for Master

i will NOT wear panties

i will not sell snake oil or tiger balm at Master’s d/s parties

i will not peek out of the blindfold

there is no such thing as “slave immunity”

i will not sneak in the bathroom when i don’t have permission

i did not win an emmy for my last session

i will not hide all Master’s toys

all play and no work does not a good slave make

i will not say “oh Master you’re the bestest and biggest” just to get a spanking

i can not fire Master

my last assignment was not stolen by one armed net hackers

i will not scare the newbies by telling them ALL REAL subs like bullwhips

i will not perform breast implant surgery on the newbies

i will refrain from saying “hail satan” when i don’t like Master’s orders

i will not remind Master daily of our 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 yr. anniversary

i will not waste wax by playing with it or putting it on all Master’s clamps

i will not use Master’s bondage table for a skateboard ramp or a slide into the pool

i will not wear Master’s underwear on my head

Master’s dog does not stink

i will not torment the newbies with the violet wand

and last but not least…
i will not use the pages from Master’s Dom Handbook to start the grill

Copyright©1997 by Blades baby gyrl (formerly, Torm’s tiara)
All rights are reserved by the author.

What a day!

So, I went to Manila yesterday. Yes, for the day… It’s only a 70 min. flight. I left the house at 7am and was back by 5pm. Airport hell and all!

Here, the screening process from the front door to the gate is insane. This is the normal, no-emergency, domestic flight procedure:
- Past the “shops” and through the first hurdle.
- Prove you have a reservation, show ID/passport.
- First bag/luggage x-ray, complete with human metal detector.
- Check-in counter, where you have to swear on your first-born child that you have NO liquids, etc.
- On to pay the next airport nazi your terminal fee, which they staple to your boarding pass – only AFTER you show them your ID.
- Take 50 steps, where the next person tears the term. fee receipt off of your boarding pass.
- Pick the next screening line – based on your gender. They get VERY upset if you are in the wrong line.
- This time, it’s the shoes-off bag x-ray, human metal detector.
- Once you pass (i.e. NO metal) you step up on a box and get “felt-up” top to bottom. My breasts don’t even get that kind of treatment at home!
- While you are being molested, they manually go through your bag(s).
- One more nazi to go… ticket & ID/passport verification and you FINALLY get to go to your gate.

Now, this is all well and good, but I made it through with nail clippers, a jar of carmex, and a small lotion. *wink* Sorry, but I wasn’t taking a baggie in my purse just for a teeny lotion! Besides, I would have had to carry it in my hand through all of this process.

I won’t even go into the International procedures. Just take the list above & multiply it by two.

You know, after typing and re-living that experience, maybe going shopping in Manila is too much trouble after all. 

Hidden

Well, I’ve kept this blog hidden long enough. Guess I thought it should have some “content” for you to enjoy. I know it would totally suck to go to a blog with nothing in it.

 Time to let the beast out, I suppose. Here I come… let me ROAR!

Those we call “friends”

I’m sure everyone has “friends” (people for whom they gladly perform tasks) who are completely self-centered and pretentious. Am I right?

You can spend hours upon hours helping, only for them to undo what’s been done. However, in the end, what you are doing IS for them. It is just so hard to see all of that work go to shit, and be all for nothing. *sigh*

My favorite part is being told that “it’s broken” or “it never worked” – regardless of the fact that it was tested and tested again. Excuses like that grate on my nerves more than anything. I mean, a friend could just say “I don’t know how that works” or “I was doing X and now Y doesn’t seem to work, could you look at it?”.

Of course, in writing this, I do have a specific instance in mind. Am I going to reveal it? No! That’s just not what “friends” do. I’ve always been a true friend. Guess that’s where I go the wrong way down a one way street.

Totally Random

So, this is the place I go to write stupid stuff – the kind of stuff that just doesn’t fit in anywhere else. Believe me, I can come up with a LOT of stupid stuff… just ask anyone who knows me.

Like right now… I’m going to eat some lunch. Who blogs that?!?

Lexington KY

I’m a Kentuckian – born and bred. So, I thought I would share a bit about my hometown.

Lexington, Kentucky, best known as the Horse Capital of the World, lies in the heart of Bluegrass Country. It has gained noteriety for the rolling hills of bluegrass & magnificent horse farms encircling the city.

Average temperatures range from 30ºF in the winter months to 80ºF (and higher!) during the summer.

Population: 265,000 approx.
Home of The University of Kentucky (My Alma Mater)

Thoroughbred Racing at Keeneland.

Check out the links, open up the map, and take a tiny peek at where I’m from.

Thank you so much!

Because of your emails:

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.

And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face…disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda , Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician… Have a wonderful day….

Oh, by the way….. A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.

Dora J. Elias
SDDC, AA&E Branch
DSN: 826-5379
Coml: 757-878-5379

Wisdom of J.

I think I might make a habit of this “line”. Sometimes nothing but shit comes out of my mouth. Other times, I have some really proper wisdom…

So, this came about as I was deleting my emails. I don’t keep anything anymore. No sense in dwelling on the past. Good or bad. But, I did come across a statement I made…

“i’ve gone and done something stupid. people hide their pain in odd ways. no, scratch that. people just do stupid shit for no reason.”

It just struck me as one of those really cool things that I say, like 1/1,000,000.

Sweet Kitty

BAD Kitty!!! Someone is using this as their av & I just had to nab it. Sorry, but I can’t give proper credit to the creator. If it’s you, step up and I’ll give you your props.

So fellas, always check out your surroundings before you whip the little fella out! *kisses*

It never fails…

People ignore the “public service announcement” on the top right corner of my blog. Basically, I reserve the right to talk about topics that are adult in nature. In addition, some of my material may be offensive to certain people.

Please be 18 to view this stuff. I really would appreciate it.

Should you find anything offensive, please do us both a favor and click HERE. This will take you to the WordPress home page.

Thanks!